o3:07 am,a winter night but not feeling the coolness around,the light of the laptop screen guiding me like the beacon of light to write but feeling a load of energy inside waiting to explode and so many many tons and tons of ideas( won't bore u with that at list for now).
today i am trying to understand myself much more and in such a depth and a one liner is ringing on my head
that don't take your life too seriously & analyze it to such an depth that its not worth living after that

in the sence that too much understanding would spoil the spontaneous and liveliness and and again recalling another dialogue said by a senior of mine "bande mein spark hone chahiye ( the guy said be having a spark{fire in the belly})".
whats the use of living just for the sake of living, live with a mission then life would be so so much wonderful .Actually steepness of mission is i believe is directly proportional to quality of life u are living, again let me remind u "quality is a relative term".
but battling all those various personalities in my mind created of such blabirrish self talk to myself, i would like to state that i am bit of a "realize later arrogant type of person".In fact again this is also relative to the person i am interacting with and that i might as said previously ,probably out of deep useless self thinking came out with this hypothesis with only a single person(that's me obviously) as the key witness, judge ,prosecution acussed of the case , so might be off track a lil bit.
Whatever might be the case, be so it as it may be and talking myself out of this boredom (u being no exception), i wish to propose another hypothesis that swarajya party launched in 1923( not sure absolutely about the date) a party lauched by C.R Das and nehru's daddy was a kind of "against the run of play" type of party.
while many of the congress comrades opposed to join hands with british govt.,mainly these two guys doublehandedly disagreed and went ahead to contest the election.The thing is that there is a kahawat in english

"power corrupts people and absolute power corrupts absolutely"

, though this piece was written down in around 1938 by george orwell in his epic book 1984, which incidentally is few years later to formation of swarajya party as u might have not but should have realised, but the kahawat now in hindi or for that matter in any language is amply clear that power oozes corruption like a dead fish stiking pungently, since early days.
but daddyji and das did a commendable job to fight the govt. from inside and never bowing down to their policies which were anti indian despite all the might of the british empire imposed upon them, their whole philosophy was unlike the moderates who supported and were not aggressive they would be opposite.They would fiercely oppose all anti-Indian bills and vote against it ( of course, that didn't have final impact on the bills as such because of overpowering power vested by them [govt.]upon themselves and so only dissent of indians were presented in meetings, nonetheless the british stand on various issues was clear now and their policies were clearly evident that these were for the Goras only)
but things never remain hunky dorky always after CR Das death, the party received a serious blow, daddyji was cornered by rest of the opponents inside govt. and slowly inefficiency started to creep in and was seeming to not go with the side of congress policies and was hence loosing public support.Mohan das as ususal did a commendable job to trying to maintain a sort of understanding between the two groups inside congress and finally the party had to quit due to many reason i am not able to recall now.But as later daddyji told our 1st pm of india that they had stuck to their guns and fought its way all through with the govt. which to many a extend is certainly true.
so the thing that we should see from here is that power if taken with a mission ,aim or a noble thought in mind and to fight for it in case of its desertification or isolation and stay put to be a steady rock on the principles on which u had initially took upon the responsibility of power, i see no reason that a real ram rajya (utopian society )cannot be sustained. good day.